Sunday

This photo isn't from today (okay, so the daily photo thing isn't really working out so far). HOWEVER, today I happen to be wearing the same blue dress that I was wearing on the day the picture was taken.

Differences:
1.) I do not look as sarcastically pensive today
2.) My hair has been cut about seven inches

So today kinda sucked, kinda rocked. Lately I've been doing really well, but a bunch of my old concepts and ideas hinder me from growing in the direction I want to.

I sing. Today, in voice lessons, there was this reaaalllyy high note, in an opera peice. I freaked out. I couldn't sing it, much as I "tried". There really was no energy behind my sound because I was scared out of my mind to sing this note, completely within my range (really really high, yes, but I've been doing this for nine years and I've hit the note many times in warm-ups). I was imagining all these judgements people would make -- people who weren't even there. It was just me and my teacher, and if there's anyone I can make a mistake in front of, it's her. She's heard it all, and she's a very kind soul. She wouldn't make me feel bad if I made a mistake.

She doesn't. I do.

Ahh! I know I have more thoughts on this subject, I just can't sort them out right now.

Saturday

First of all, let's get something straight. The photo to the right is not at all my ideal picture. However:
1.) It is actually a good representation of me
2.) I need to post a picture, because I promised myself I would.

The photo shows:
1.) My cat, Calvin, who I completely love (Calvin and Hobbes, anyone?).
2.) My hair. It's blonde, and crazy. And as usual, it was all over the place.
3.) My eyebrows, which don't match my hair, even though both are their natural color. I'm indecisive, and apparently I was destined to be that way.


So I'm not exactly supposed to be blogging right now. I'm helping to clean the house, and my task list includes things like "vacuum", "wash the shower with Soft Scrub", "change sheets"... not "write long blog posts", "set up Twitter account", "take pictures with your cat."

But I'm breaking the rules, just a little, because I had a thought for a post, and I'm learning to use inspiration right away. You can't capture it on a post-it note and go back to it later. So here's my thought...

You don't stop loving somebody just because you break up. It's pretty much impossible, unless you haven't loved them for a long time. In a relationship, you've got all these routines, and it's ridiculous to think we can just stop, suddenly. All of a sudden, you are broken up. That's it. You're done. You go from seeing someone every day, hugging, kissing, talking constantly, and then somebody decides that this routine has become unsatisfactory, and it ends. Everything. Sometimes the two people, once "so in love", never talk again, only exchanging glares across the classroom.

Relationships are weird. I feel we might be going about them all wrong. I'm not offering any other solutions at the moment, since the only alternative to breaking up would be something like a gradual seperation, which would not work.

"Um, listen, I don't think we should be in a relationship anymore. How bout a month from now we call it quits?" That proposition could be followed by one less hug a day, one less kiss a day, one less conversation a day, until finally, it ends.

No. That would not work, at all.

Anyway, I have been discovered. My mom reminded me I should be working. Maybe I'll sort out my thoughts a little better while cleaning bathroom tiles (that's not even sarcasm, I have a strange obsession with Soft Scrub).

XoXoXoXo.